“I’m scared that my temper will one day hurt someone I love.”
DG: You have been courageous in carrying this injury for so long – the broken heart that I sense is so often behind rage. Now, right here and now, there is healing available to you. Just in acknowledgment you have shined a bright light on the thing that lurks in your dark parts waiting patiently to spring when given opportunity. In your greater community you can find others who are learning strategies to manage the physicality of rage. Find them. I am no trained professional, but because I have personal experience with terrifying rage, I can offer you this: Make a commitment to a 15 minute meditation every day for 90 days. When you begin, make certain you are alone and have some water and and tissues near by. Open yourself with deep breaths then begin to reflect on times when you felt let down – did not get what you needed. If you feel rage – just sit with it. Let it be what it is. Acknowledge it and call on your courage to stay with it until it is finished. This is a way we comfort children who are lost in a tantrum. We sit with them and let it be until something cracks and they can come back. Be a child in the moment knowing full well that you already have everything you need to comfort yourself when you come back. When the rage shifts it often comes in tears. Let them wash over you until you are finished. Thank your rage for the ways it has helped you survive then give it permission to go. Tell it you don’t need its services any longer.
At the end of 90 days, treat yourself to something very special and begin again.
Token: Here is a stone for your pocket. This stone is imbued with the peace and quiet of Smoke Farm. Let it serve as a reminder that you are loved.
“Creativity and follow through. Blockage, frustration and doubt.”
How encouraging it is for me to know that I am not alone in these feelings. We are connected, as is everyone, through our fears. Unfortunately, we do not value wholeness. We seek exemption from insecurity and pain instead of honoring the connective opportunity these provide. We do not want to burden or be burdened by messy pain, but when we courageously give ourselves to vulnerability and true service, we connect deeply. Funny humans. I offer that you take yourself on a 15 minute walk every day for 90 days, no matter the weather. While on these walks, collect a stone. Store these stones in clear, glass jar in a place where you will see light shine through the glass. Let the weight and number of the stones ground you and remind you of your commitment to self nurturing. At the end of 90 days, select the most interesting of the stones and write a poem about it. Return the the other 89, one walk at a time, to the earth as blessings.